How NFL pros such as Matt Stafford gain perspective from coaching their kids
ESPN spoke to 16 NFL players about what it's like to coach their children and what it means to spend that time with them.
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IT WAS THE middle of April, and Los Angeles Rams quarterback Matthew Stafford was drawing up a play on a whiteboard on the sideline of a youth flag football game.
He was surrounded by a group that included his three oldest daughters -- Chandler (9), Sawyer (9) and Hunter (8) -- as he described how to read a quarterback's eyes and attack the run.
Stafford's daughters, who expressed interest in playing the sport after watching a girls flag football camp at the Rams' facility last year, were supposed to be coached by a local high school student. But after a conflict came up with the student's schedule, Stafford said all eyes turned to him.
"Everybody just kind of looked at me and was like, 'I mean... it should be you,'" Stafford told ESPN.
Stafford's team won the championship, but he said his focus was trying to teach the players -- six girls and four boys -- the fundamentals of flag football.
"I tried to keep it as simple as I possibly could," Stafford said. "We kind of just lined up and played the same defense all the time and tried to keep it simple for them so they could go play and have fun."
Stafford is one of many current NFL players who coach their kids in sports that include football, soccer, baseball, basketball and golf. ESPN spoke to 16 of those players about what it's like to coach their children and what it means to spend that time with them.
New England Patriots right tackle Morgan Moses said he gets recognized at games when coaching his sons -- Isaiah (11), Jeremiah (10) and Legend (8) -- in youth football during the spring.
"It's funny because a lot of the parents from the opposing team are like, 'They're running NFL plays!'" Moses said.
THIS REALLY COOL: #Rams MVP quarterback Matthew Stafford coaches his daughter's flag football team and was drawing up plays for them today. 👏👏👏 Imagine the MVP of the league as your coach. Pretty damn cool. https://t.co/jJ6oYlhTnO
Stafford, the reigning NFL MVP, said he didn't lean too hard on his NFL expertise.
"I'm just a dad out there at that point," Stafford said. "I could scheme up some stuff, but can we execute it? Probably not.
"I'd draw something up, we'd run the play, I'd look at my sheet and be like, 'That's not anything what I thought I was going to get,' but we score a touchdown on it."
LOS ANGELES CHARGERS outside linebacker Bud Dupree said he will never forget when his sons -- Jett (8) and Ace (6) -- told him that they wanted to play flag football. Jett was 4 when he joined a team rather than just playing around with his dad and brother.
Dupree said it was important to him that he coached his sons because he has seen how much youth sports has changed from when he was a kid.
"A lot of coaches are in it for the wrong reasons," Dupree said. "A lot of coaches are gambling on the games. They yelling at the kids that never played sports in their life.
"So, I want to make sure that [when they're young what] they're doing is not necessarily focused on all wins. It's focused on maturing in the game, getting better at the actual sport and learning from the mistakes that they playing and understanding the actual game of football."
Dupree created several teams called BD Elite. His sons play on the 8U team, but he also has 10U, 15U team and 18U teams.
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"I started it for my kids, but along the way, I just wanted to reach as many kids as I could, and I took upon that to make it stand, man," Dupree said. "Now, I'm trying to get kids in college, give them scholarships, taking on that. It's not only affecting my kids' life, but affecting other kids."
Carolina Panthers long snapper JJ Jansen coaches sons Luke, 13, and Ben, 7, in baseball. Jansen called coaching his "greatest passion," saying, "[It] takes up a lot of my time because I want it to take up a lot of my time." For the past five years, Jansen said he has coached during the NFL season and spends time during the week thinking about how he can "positively impact" the kids on his team.
"Everything from scripting practice, thinking through how they each should develop in their own way," Jansen said. "One of my absolute favorite things to do is scripting out practice and going through each player, thinking, 'What do they need? What are the skills they need to develop? What [are] the strategies they need to learn?' I spend way too much time on it, but I love it."
When Jaguars quarterback Nick Mullens' son, Luke, 7, started his first season of coach-pitch baseball in Birmingham, Alabama, Mullens told the head coach of his son's team he was available to help if needed but didn't want too much authority.
The offer was gladly accepted. The first part, anyway.
"A week into practice, I was the second in command," Mullens said. "The first practice, I was timid, but three practices in, you're like, 'All right, listen up.' And the kids start listening to you a little bit, so I really enjoy that aspect of it. It's a lot of fun."
Moses said his goal is simple: for the kids on his team to learn the fundamentals of football.
"I told everybody I really don't care if we win or lose, I just want the kids to walk away knowing they learned great football strategy," Moses said. "So when they leave, and if they don't play on my team the following year, they have a set of fundamentals they can lean on."
EVEN THOUGH MULLENS is entering his NFL ninth season (20 starts) and was coaching his son in Birmingham, Alabama, the town right next to Hoover, Alabama, where he grew up and attended high school, he didn't get recognized much by other parents or coaches. Which meant he was inevitably going to be asked, "What do you do for a living?" by those parents and coaches as the league is active in the NFL offseason.
At first, he was reluctant to tell them he was a professional football player because he knew the conversation would then revolve around that, and he'd rather talk to the other parents and coaches about their professions. So, he'd sometimes... embellish a bit about his career.
Such as the time he told someone he worked for a logistics company. But that presented a different problem for him.
"Then, they keep asking you questions. You've got to make stuff up as you go," he joked. "So I've been down that path, and it's like, 'Dude, you're better off just telling people what you do.'"
Jansen has done most of his coaching with former Panthers tight end Greg Olsen, who gets more attention than Jansen.
"I think my younger kids get a kick out of it," Jansen said. "My older kids, it's a little bit of, like -- it's not an eye roll. It's just sort of like, 'Oh, here we go again.'"
Former Panthers tight end Greg Olsen is enjoying coaching youth baseball. Panthers.com Jaguars punter Logan Cooke said he gets recognized by parents at times when helping coach his 5-year-old Cooper play T-ball, but the fact that he's a Pro Bowl punter means absolutely nothing to the players.
"I'm not Trevor Lawrence walking out there so there's always subtle comments about it, good luck this weekend, stuff like that," he said. "But the kids have no idea, and they wouldn't even care. They're so young."
FORMER NEW ENGLAND Patriots quarterback Brian Hoyer serves as the offensive coordinator for the freshman football team at Xaverian Brothers High School in Westwood, Massachusetts, where his son, Garrett, is the starting quarterback.
Hoyer, who played in the NFL from 2009 to 2023, was helping coach the varsity team after former NFL quarterback -- and Xaverian alum -- Matt Hasselbeck convinced him to help out. Hasselbeck served as the team's quarterbacks coach while his son Henry was in high school.
But when a coaching change left the freshman team without an offensive coordinator, Hoyer was asked if he wanted to take over.
"I could have never guessed what it was going to entail," Hoyer said. "That started with basically creating a whole new offensive playbook, but tailored to the freshman level.
"Understanding what freshman football is -- it's been forever since I've been exposed to it. You have kids playing football for the first time. It's been an adventure."
This season is the first time Hoyer has coached his son and said, "It's a little bit unique coaching him as a freshman in high school for the first time because he's established in his ways, and he's a lot like me -- hardheaded."
"Two days ago, we had a really bad practice, and I was really hard on him," Hoyer said. "I said, 'Garrett, the reason I'm coaching you this way is because I believe in you and what you're capable of. If I didn't, first and foremost, I wouldn't be out here. And secondly, when you practice like you did today...' this is probably where I need to work on better bedside manner, but you know who I was coached by for a long time [Bill Belichick]."
Garrett called it "a good experience" to be coached by his dad, but said, "There are a few ups and downs where we get in a few fights."
"We've bumped heads quite a few times," Brian Hoyer said. "There's only been one player on our team who has been sent on laps, Bill Belichick style, and you can guess who that is."
Hoyer said he has told Garrett: "I've already lived my dreams. If you want this, I'm going to help you, but it's ultimately up to you. You have to want it.'"
Former Patriots QB Brian Hoyer currently serves as the offensive coordinator for the freshman football team at Xaverian High School in Westwood, Massachusetts, where his son Garrett is the starting quarterback. Mike Reiss And though Garrett is old enough to appreciate what his dad can teach him, Davante Adams' oldest daughter Daija, 7, isn't quite there, Adams said.
"I'm trying to coach her in golf, but every time I try to coach her with anything, she wants to be done with it," Adams said. "So, I just let her grip it with the left hand low and let her putt and do it however she wants. Her coach actually gets her right, like actually, because any time I jump in, they just want to go do something else.
"They're still young, to where they're not like overly competitive yet to where they really want to be locked in. They just want to have fun. So, I'm doing the best I can, but also trying to make sure I stay out of the way so that they stay interested."
Bengals backup quarterback Josh Johnson started coaching his 9-year-old son, Kassim, this year. Johnson said he thought it was good for Kassim to see his dad not only coach him, "but coach everybody else the same way."
"One game, he wanted to run in at quarterback, and I'm like, 'No, you're not ready yet,'" Johnson said. "He was a little upset, but I had to explain to him that's what practice is for.
"That's when we're at the house, and I want to play catch with you; there's a time for you to get ready. I was like, 'We can't do it on game day.' The other kids put the work in, so you have to play what you're working on. I said, 'Your time will come when you're ready.'"
Mike Evans has coached his daughter, Mackenzie, in AAU basketball for the past few seasons. The San Francisco 49ers' wide receiver now coaches her in 14U in a sport he excelled in as a kid. Evans had more offers to play basketball in college than he did football, he said.
Evans said the sport has been great for Mackenzie and that his goal is to teach the girls on his team "about life."
"Because I understand what it is like being a kid and just wanting to get them set up for life," Evans said. And just build that camaraderie, make those memories. Some of the funnest times of my life I was playing AAU basketball."
When asked what his daughter would say if asked what he's like as a coach, Evans laughed.
"Well, she's 14, so her opinion ain't going to be right," he said, before adding: "I think she'd say I'm a good coach. It is probably a little harder that I'm her dad coaching. But I treat all my players the same."
Bud Dupree said it was important to him that he coached his sons because he's seen how much youth sports has changed from when he was a kid. @snoopandhoushflagfootball DUPREE WAS AT practice one day in August when he went up to teammate Khalil Mack.
Dupree had been covering a teammate on a route and realized he had recently been explaining the same concept to his son Jett.
"I said, 'Bro, Khalil, I just told my son how to do this,'" Dupree said. "And that's why it makes you notice it more. OK, this is what to expect. And I actually learned it like that.
"That's nothing I would've ever thought of in a sense if I was just playing football and not coaching because you get so caught up in what you're crafting as a player that you forget to look at the whole side of the game."
Dupree said it gives him a different insight because though it's not as serious as coaching in high school, college or the NFL, "You're still learning more nuances of the game and seeing it from a different perspective than you can see as a player."
Hoyer said that by seeing the game "through a different lens after doing it at the professional level for so long," he has realized there are a lot of things he takes for granted that he has to reteach.
"There would be some times I would ask him about how to throw, and he would be like, 'I don't know, I just feel for it,'" Garrett Hoyer said. "So, he would go back and text his buddies he played with and find a better way to explain it to me."
Arizona Cardinals long-snapper Casey Kreiter has a son in third grade who started playing tackle football this year. Though Kreiter doesn't coach him because of his schedule, he is involved at home. Kreiter said there are times when he wants to teach his son something, but his son will give him a look like, "Hey, you're Dad right now, so be Dad."
But when his son is interested in hearing what he has to say, Kreiter said he tries to take advantage.
"There's been times where he's told me, 'Dad, I don't want to hear what you have to say. You're not my coach.' And he doesn't say it that bluntly, but you can sense it," Kreiter said. "So when he wants to ask, it's like, enjoy it. 100%. And I hope he learns to love the game just like I love the game.
"That's my wife and I's biggest hopes and dreams that they find a passion. I love long-snapping. It's a very odd thing to love, but I love it. I hope he finds whatever that is for him."
Bears kicker Cairo Santos coaches his son Daniel, 5, in soccer and golf. Santos, who grew up in Brazil, said soccer was his first sport. Daniel is doing a Lil' Kickers soccer program, where he's playing with 7- and 8-year-olds.
And though Santos wants his son to focus on soccer now, he thinks when his son is in middle school, he'll work with him on how to kick a football. His son has begun to learn after former Bears wide receiver D.J. Moore gave him a kid-sized field goal post.
The field goal post sits in their backyard, and after the pair plays flag football in the yard and his son scores, "I let him kick an extra point, and I hold for him," Santos said.
"He's really good," Santos said. "He can kick already, but I think I want him to focus on soccer if he still has fun and enjoys doing it to get more of the athleticism and foot coordination and all that. And then, I think it'll come natural if you play a lot of soccer, like most NFL kickers that played back in the day. At the right time, I think you can make the transition to field goal kicking."
Bears safety Xavier Woods coaches his son, Saint, 4, in flag football and his son and one of his daughters Zaylin, 5, in soccer. Woods jokes that he doesn't know a lot about soccer, but he improvises from what he knows as an NFL player.
"I've just taken football drills and tried to incorporate it into some soccer stuff," Woods said.
Moses said that though he hopes he has taught his kids about football, he is also appreciative that he's able to do it while he's still playing.
"I think the beauty of it all is being able to have them be here present while I'm playing, and they see the day-to-day that goes on, and how I take care of my body, how I compete, and how I try to be a leader every day for this team," Moses said. "And seeing them exemplify those little things I've learned over my career into their life, it's been amazing."
Dupree said he has noticed how his sons seeing him put in the work it takes to be a professional athlete and for them to come to workouts and training camp has affected how seriously they take football.
"For them to go actually be still hungry, super hungry, want to go out there and work, that lets you know you're breeding dawgs," Dupree said. "You're breeding little pit bulls. So that's the most exciting thing I see, man, that they're in a situation where they really don't got to be as hungry, but they're eager to learn. They're super hungry to get better. They want to be the best.
"And that comes, I feel like, from feeling that tenacity for me. So, they're letting me know I'm rubbing off on them in some way."
ESPN's Ben Baby, Courtney Cronin, Rob Demovsky, Mike DiRocco, Mike Kaye, Mike Reiss, Kris Rhim, Nick Wagoner and Josh Weinfuss contributed to this story.
