If you've followed Manchester United for the past 10 years or so, you know the story by now. It goes something like this.
First, there's a bad season. The richest team in the Premier League somehow finishes too low to qualify for the Champions League. A previously beloved manager suddenly looks clueless. A bunch of highly paid, previously successful players barely look good enough to play in the Premier League, let alone for a team that wants to compete for every major trophy.
Inevitably, the manager is fired -- either before the season ends, over the summer, or just a couple of weeks into the new season. Then, a new guy comes in, the results get better, a lot of those inept players suddenly look capable, and the team finishes way above where it landed under the previous guy.
The team qualifies for the Champions League, then it spends a ton of money on a bunch of players, and the whispers begin: I kind of think United could win the league. And then the whispers turn into shouts, given so many of England's former-players-turned-pundits used to play for the club.
Inevitably, the cycle then restarts anew. Not only does the club fail to meet the unrealistic expectations but doesn't even come close. Everyone turns on the coach they said was a savior six months ago. All of those new players who were going to push them to their first title since 2013 struggle to even keep them afloat.
The coach gets fired, they hire someone new, the results improve, a title is suddenly on the cards, and then it all falls apart -- again and again.
And again: like, right now. After finishing third last season, Man United have earned only six points from their first six matches. This past weekend's draw against 10-man Tottenham condemned the club to their worst league start since 1986.
The club looks as if it's going to get lost in its vicious cycle once again -- but how might United, uh, not do that?